Friday makes number 9

UPDATED:

The surgery went great!  No huge blisters or welps this time and we were in and out of there in record time.  We checked in at 9:00 and by 11:30 we were walking out to the parking lot.  Thank you Lord!  Lauren did so good, only a few tears when she went with the nurse to the back.  I think next time we'll up her dosage of the goofy juice... it didn't seem to phase her this time.  She got a good snuggle and calmed down when she saw Daddy in the Recovery room.  We go back in 3 months, so it will be in March.

Friday, December 10th will be Lauren's 9th laser treatment at ACH.  We would love your prayers for her on that day.

Please pray for her doctors - the Vascular Anomalies doctor and the Anesthesiologist - and also the nurses that will be caring for her while we are there.

Pray specifically for the doctor to use the correct and most accurate laser setting for maximum effectiveness, but also the safest setting as well.  Please pray that they are able to see her birthmark clearly while they are using the laser and that they don't miss any portion of it.  Pray that she will not have any adverse reaction to the laser (last time we came home with a large bump on her head and were unsure if it was from the laser pulse or if she hit her head on the bed railing...)

Please pray that I will be able to keep her calm leading up to the procedure.  That everything will go smoothly during the procedure and also in the recovery room.

And pray that she will get an early surgery time so that she will be able to eat sooner, rather than later.

My daughter is a Rockstar

I've said it before and I'll say it again.   Lauren completely amazes me with her resilience with these laser surgeries.  Friday was her 8th laser treatment and she did better than ever.  I think I say that every time too, but it's true!  She is professional at this now.  She is my little day surgery rockstar!

Yes, she is a tiny person and therefore she gets scared and a little nervous, but she always bounces back to her normal self.

We arrived at ACH just before 11:30 and her treatment was scheduled for 1:30.  Poor baby had not been allowed to eat all morning and she was only allowed no more than 12 oz of clear liquids up to 10:30.  It was a semi-long morning at the house.  And it was going pretty good (she is easily distracted by cartoons) until she asked me, "Where we going, Mama?"  And I told her that we were going to see the doctor.  That is when the flood gates opened and I almost lost it because as I was holding her, trying to comfort her, she looked at me with those big, blue eyes and said, "But I feel fine, Mama!"

Punched right in the gut is what I felt... "I know you feel fine, Baby, but it will okay and we'll be back home before you know it."  Those words did not comfort her.

She fell asleep in the car on the way there.  I'm sure from pure exhaustion and not being able to eat.  When I got her out of the car, she said, "We're here?"  And there were no tears, because I told you, she is AMAZING.

We were very quickly assigned our room to wait and I got her changed into her little yellow scrub like pants and top.  I knew that she knew something was up, but she didn't ask me what we were doing.  We settled into the chair and snuggled while waiting and watching cartoons.  Nurses and doctors came and went... and each time someone new came into the room she told me she wanted to go home.  All I could say, was not yet... but soon.

The nurse came to take her at 2:00 and by then the goofy juice had made her really limp and very sleepy.  She laid on the hospital bed and they wheeled her away.  Only when she realized that I couldn't go with her did she start to cry and call for me.  My heart breaks EVERY TIME I have to walk through those doors without her, while hearing her cry for me.  I know she has to be scared and it just kills me inside.

Thankfully, I know that she can't be scared for long, because by 2:10 or 2:15 the doctor is already calling me on the lobby phone letting me know how the surgery went.  Yes, it's that fast.  And that is a blessing in itself.

This time I opted not to allow the recovery nurse to give her juice upon waking up.  It always makes her sick in the car on the way home.  So, I had Gatorade ready for her instead.  She was already awake when they let me go back to the Recovery area... and she was scared again.  Of course she was!  She woke up in a strange place and was looking for me!  Next time I think I will tell them that I prefer to be there when she wakes up... it's much easier to calm her down if she sees me when she first opens her eyes.

But after I scooped her up and held her tight she calmed down, drank some Gatorade, and finally stopped crying.  When I told her we were going home she was ready and smiling.  Rockstar.

She fell asleep on the way home and when we got there it was as if it never happened.  She was back to her normal, happy go lucky, playful self.

Whew.  We survived it again.  The best part is that you can't even tell that she had the laser done.  Unless you look really close you can see a few spots that managed to leave a mark.  We go again in 3 months. 

While part of me is happy about this... more treatments now might mean less treatments later, the other part of me dreads it with ever fiber of my being.  She is so smart and she is eventually going to figure out what is going on and we'll have to have that dreaded conversation.  The conversation that includes a bundle of questions including the toughest one - Why?  One day she is going to look at me and ask me Why she has this birthmark.  Why me Mama?  And I have no idea what I'm going to say. 

We will just have to cross that bridge when we get there.  And pray the whole way that by that time she won't even be able to see the birthmark on her face.  Then it might  be easier to explain that Mama and Daddy did everything in our power to "fix" it for her.  Because we love her more than she will ever know.

Praise!!!

Lauren's EIGHTH Laser treatment for her birthmark is on Sept. 17th.  I can't believe she has had seven treatments.  That's crazy to me.  For all of her procedures the hospital has used the Pulsed Dye Laser that results in pencil-eraser-sized purple marks all over the areas they apply the laser.  It has been pretty effective, but MY WORD, it takes a sweet forever for those purple dots to fade and to see results.  On her 6th laser treatment the hospital had a different laser for one day only.  It was on Sept. 17, 2009 that they were given a day to test out the laser to see if the hospital would be interested in buying it.  Lauren was a perfect candidate for this Alexandrite laser.  So, of course we agreed to try it.  And the best part is that it only leaves behind some mild redness after the laser is applied... NO PURPLE DOTS!

Well, the hospital (Vascular Anamolies/ENT clinic) has been trying to get this laser for about a year now.  I called our ENT rep at the hospital to find out if they had it yet.  I was contemplating cancelling Lauren's procedure until they had the new laser.  Do I want her birthmark faded even more?  YES, of course I do!  But she is 3 years old now and in Preschool and I honestly didn't want her to have to face any type of ridicule/staring/questions from the purple dots.

But I found out that the hospital will have the laser in their possession on Sept. 16th!!!  One day before her procedure that was scheduled 6 months ago!  And her procedure is exactly one year from the date she first received treatment with the Alexandrite laser.  Don't tell me that's a coincidence. 

God is IN the details.

As soon as the Rep told me that they had the laser I almost burst into tears.  A huge answer to prayer and enormous weight was lifted!

Post-surgery: Number 7

It's good to be home.  It's so much warmer inside.  My word it was cold out there today, and windy too.  The roads really were not that bad considering the weather reports of snow and ice from yesterday.  Our drive in wasn't that bad because A) not that many cars were on the road and B) I left way early just in case.  The parking lot at the hospital was by far the worst part of the drive.  There are no flat parking lots.  Everything is sloped.  I tried to park in one spot and literally could not get my car over the melted-refrozen snow.  So I backed up and called Trey.  He suggested backing into a parking spot and that did the trick.  Then I took one foot out of the car and realized we were in for a hard walk to the lobby.  The entire parking lot was like an ice skating rink.  Frozen solid with big snow chunks everywhere.  I started to walk on the frozen black top (carrying my purse and Lauren wrapped up in a blanket, trying to shield her from the frigid wind) and quickly realized that wasn't going to work.  It was a small incline up to the hospital and I was quickly sliding backwards.  I was so nervous that we were going to bust it right there in the parking lot.  I pulled myself together and figured out that walking on the refrozen snow was slightly easier.  After that we made it inside and breathed a sigh of relief.

We got to the hospital around 8:15 when were weren't required to be there until 8:45.  They quickly got us checked in and into a hospital room to wait.  It's the same hospital room we've been in the last 2 or 3 times.  I don't know if that is a coincidence or on purpose.  Lauren wasn't thrilled with the nurse who came to check her vitals.  But I'm sure that was nerves and her remembering what happened 3 weeks ago.

In a trance... Sesame Street was on the TV.

The surgery scheduled before ours was a no show so we got moved up a few minutes early.  Lauren was actually in the recovery area by the time her surgery was actually scheduled to start.  That has never happened and was a welcomed change!

She had one of the best recoveries she's ever had.  She didn't wake up mad or screaming/crying.  Just a little nervous and confused.  Once I got to pick her up all was well.  She was pretty tipsy and a little nauseated, but nothing major.  Our recovery nurse was wonderful.  We'd had him before and he is just so kind and gentle with her.  He's British and I liked listening to his accent.  (Incidentally, I remember not liking this nurse the last time we had him, but it was my attitude and not his!) He even walked us downstairs so I had less to carry and ensured we made it to our car through the icy parking lot.  The nurses are always the best!

We won't go back for another 6 months or so.  More than likely it will be in September or October because she will have to lose any tan she acquired in the summer before having the laser used.  But I'm a sunscreen Nazi, so she probably won't have too much of a tan, if any, on her face.  After her next treatment we'll probably only have to go once a year for "maintenance" purposes.  This is just to ensure that the stain stays light, doesn't get darker or start to thicken.  Basically, the doctor told me that her stain is really not getting much lighter with these frequent treatments.  So, we've done all we can do.  And I'm okay with that. 

After all, God is in control and He determines the shade of her PWS.  No one else.

So, now we wait for these dots to go away!  It will probably take the better part of 4 to 6 weeks before they are completely gone. 

Purely coincidence that I dressed her in a polka dot fleece today!

7th Laser Procedure

Tomorrow is Lauren's 7th laser procedure for the PWS.  Please pray not only for Dr. B and the nurses and staff.  But please pray that we make it safely to and from the hospital!

I was actually pretty shocked that they called and scheduled her procedure considering the roads to and from the hospital are icy and slushy.  Here's hoping they get better and not worse over night.

I know, I'm an eternal optimist.  In reality it will probably be in the 20s tonight and the roads will be a solid sheet of ice.

Anyway, our scheduled arrival time at the surgery center is 8:45 with her procedure being performed at 10:45.  Let's pray everything is on schedule.

One Proud Mama

Lauren did so great this morning.  I feel so bad for her having to endure the 10 laser pops to her face without anesthsia, but really I don't think she felt but one or two of them.  She said ouch once or twice.  And that was during the Pulse Dye Laser.  She never even felt the pops from the Altus laser.  The worst part was the nurses having to wrap her up like a burrito and hold her down on the table to keep her from moving.  It was essential that she lay still.  VERY hard for a two year old.  She was scared and crying.  She kept looking at me saying, "Mama, I'un hold you!"  And I couldn't. 

That made me feel like dirt.

I think Trey is right.  There might have been too many people standing around her.  There were four, including me. And she just didn't have any idea what to think.  She didn't understand a bit of what was going on.  I wouldn't know what to think either if I were all wrapped up, unable to move and some stranger was holding my face still while another one pointed a laser device at my face. 

The best news is that we will NEVER have to endure that again.  All other procedures she will be put to sleep for and she won't have to be held down like a calf being branded.  Seriously, that's what I equate it with.

Honestly, I think our surgeon was getting a bit flustered with the PhD that was manning the thermal imaging camera.  Our surgeon (Dr. B) is usually so quick she was having to wait on him to record the skin temperature changes and the PhD was having to reset the camera (or something) that was causing everyone to wait.  And that meant that Lauren was required to lay there longer, confused and screaming.

I'm not sure how I managed to hold it together.  I didn't have a choice really.  Lauren was looking at me and I had to be calm and collected in order for her not to be any worse than she was.  We were all wearing protective, colored safetly glasses due to the laser so she couldn't see my eyes completely and I'm sure that didn't help.  Also she had to have her eyes covered from the laser and so one of the nurses would put a long thick strip of gauze over her eyes just before the laser was applied which made her scream even worse.  Those moments were the hardest.  I nearly lost it one time, but we made it through.

Not two seconds after it was all over and she was safe in Daddy's arms she was all smiles at the nurses.

She amazes me, this one.  Simply amazes me.  I could not be more proud of her right now.

Random Thoughts

1.  Most people have Monday as a holiday.  I don't.  It's MLK day, in case you were wondering.   Apparently the utility industry doesn't observe it.  Stink.  I could really use another day of rest.  I know it sounds premature because it's only Friday night, but I just know I'll be worn out on Sunday.  Lots planned this weekend.

2. I went to Wal-Mart for grocery shopping this afternoon instead of waiting for Saturday morning.  Of course, the minute I got home and looked in the egg carton I immediately regretted not buying more eggs.  Dadgumit.  There are probably like 8 eggs still left, but we love eggs in this house and those 8 won't last long.  I then realized I'd walked right past (passed?) the green beans.  I hate that.  So of course I had to start a new list.  Does this happen to anyone else?

3.  I refuse to leave the house on Saturday.  But just because we won't leave the house, it won't be boring around here.  This house looks like it was hit by a tornado.  And that doesn't even include the remodeling going on in the living room (I'll do a remodeling update soon).  Oh, it's just bad.  So, cleaning and deep cleaning/scrubbing is a number one priority.  I'm hoping the rain holds off long enough for Lauren to get to ride her tricycle outside tomorrow.  There will be lots of playing! Cleaning only after Lauren goes down for a nap.  And cooking, oh the cooking I have planned!  I'm going to make three dishes in large quantities to freeze for us to eat during the week.  I've done this before and it works out really great.  It's a lot of work on the weekend, but really worth the payoff during the week.  I'll be making Chicken Spaghetti, Chicken Rice Broccoli Bake, and another chicken dish but I can't remember the name of it.  And Lauren and I will be making Rice Krispie treats, yeah!

4.  I'm hoping to be able to visit a Sunday School class this Sunday.  We've visited the church a couple of times, but not SS yet.  It's hard to walk into a small group (in our case REALLY small because the church we are visiting is tiny compared to what we are used to.  Not a bad thing, just different) and not know a soul in there.  Of course Satan works hard to get us to believe we don't have to go.  And we don't HAVE to go, but we need to and want to.  Also, I just have the hardest time parting with Lauren.  I'm a working Mom so I eat up every minute I can with her.  She is literally my side kick when I'm not at work.  But we want her raised going to church and learning about Jesus early.  We talked about Jesus a lot at Christmas, but since we don't have a church home yet I don't think it's sticking yet.  I'm hoping that once we join and get involved that she'll look forward to going.  Right now she doesn't really love being dropped off in the nursery.  What can I say?  She loves her Mama.

5.  I have been drinking a lot more water this week.  Of course I'm running to the restroom every 20 minutes all day long.  I think drinking all that water is making me more thirsty.  I'm just so thirsty all the time!  But I'm also hungry too.  I wake up hungry and go to bed hungry.  It's ridiculous. 

6. Tuesday, Jan. 19th is Lauren's appointment for the clinical trial on her PWS. Basically she'll have to endure 2 to 3 laser "pops" to each side of her face. No anesthesia - because this is a test patch and not a full laser procedure. It should only last 30 minutes tops (per the nurses), that includes the rest time between laser "pops". They will have the laser on the lightest setting since this is a test and the first time they have used this type of laser on her. It's a YAG laser, we are used to using a PDL, although in September we got to use the Alexandrite laser. But the hospital only had the Alexandrite for a day. They are trying to buy one, but it takes time. So the YAG is a good option for us, and you never know, it might prove to have better results than anyone expects. I just hate teh fact that she'll have to endure the laser "pops" and actually feel it this time. I am reminding myself that we are doing this for her future and while it might hurt a little now, it will hopefully prevent future emotional scars.  And she hopefully won't remember.  But she will always know that we are doing everything we can to help her.

A PWS Prayer

***UPDATE*** - The ACH Ambulatory nurse just called to inform me that our surgery time for tomorrow is 12:25 pm, which means we have to arrive at the hospital at 10:25 am. OUCH. If you know anything about Lauren then you know she LURVES to eat. This is going to be a challenge because she is not allowed any solid foods after midnight tonight and nothing but clear liquids until 9:25 am. Here's to hoping and praying that Dr. B is not running behind schedule tomorrow, but from our personal experience it wouldn't surprise me if she didn't get taken back to surgery until 2:00 pm. My poor babe will be starving. As the nurse told me before we hung up, "May the force be with you."


Would you please pray for us on Thursday, Sept. 17th? It's Lauren's 6th PWS laser treatment and if you read my previous post about this, then you already know that I've got some anxiety about it. Nerves are not my friend, ya'll!

I am really going to have to keep it together, because we aren't sure if Trey will be able to go with me this time. Work is crazy this month, so it might just be the girls going to ACH this time. I'm not so much worried about that as I am about the doctors taking a brand new laser to my baby's face.

If I could trade places with her I would do it in less than a heartbeat. In a New York minute. Faster than a speeding bullet. You get my point.

Anyway, please especially pray for my sweet girl. She is probably not going to want me to hand her over to the surgical nurse, but this time we might be asking for the goofy juice.

Although, she can be a little goofy without the juice. :)

And also she wakes up fighting mad and ready to "get out of Dodge" so to speak. She cries and cries coming out of that anesthesia. And there's nothing that can be done to calm her down. Trust me... we've tried everything.

But please just specifically pray that Dr. B uses the best possible settings on this Alexandrite laser. Pray that she is able to see the WHOLE stain and "zap" each area completely, because when Lauren is asleep, the PWS all but disappears. Please pray that Dr. B is thorough and takes her time "lasering" Lauren's face. Pray for no complications with the anesthesia or the laser treatment. All prayers are coveted and so VERY much appreciated, ya'll!

As always, we don't know what time the procedure will be until the Ambulatory Surgery nurse calls me tomorrow to inform me. But I'll let you know so you might be able to pray at that specific hour.

Thank ya'll so much!

GOD is in Control

Do you know Lysa TerKeurst? She is the Proverbs 31 lady. She has a wonderfully encouraging blog. You must read it daily. It is just food for the soul.

For instance, this post today reminds us that sometimes God has other plans in mind. Even if it's totally off our radar.

So I will update you on a monkey wrench that got thrown into our plans for Lauren's next PWS laser treatment.

We were scheduled to have a test patch for the clinical trial done on this Friday, Sept. 11th using the YAG laser (all previous treatments have used the Pulsed Dye Laser PDL). However, the nurse at the vascular clinic called me yesterday letting me know that our doctor has secured an Alexandrite laser for use on one day only, Sept. 17th. She thought of us as a good candidate for this laser because it is for resistant Port Wine Stains (PWS) as Lauren has on the one side of her face.

This means that our test patch for the clinical trial would be canceled and therefore, our full procedure two weeks later using the YAG would be canceled as well.

Trusting the Dr.'s expert opinion we agreed to go ahead with the laser treatment on Sept. 17th using the Alexandrite laser.

And now the morning after such decision we have a DOZEN or so questions:

1. Because she will be using the Alexandrite laser on the 17th, what happens for her next procedure in 3 or 6 months? I’m assuming the Alexandrite laser will not be available yet at ACH. If we see good results, would we be able to get it here again? And if not, will we have to go back to using the PDL or will we have the opportunity to use the YAG laser?

2. Because we are going with Dr. B’s recommendation to use the Alexandrite laser on the 17th, what happens with the clinical trial we were scheduled to be a part of? Is that simply delayed? Or are we not going to be a part of that study using the computer software to “map” the PWS on Lauren’s face?

3. Because this is Lauren’s first time having the Alexandrite laser used on her stain, how do you know what setting to use? Is it based on the settings used on the PDL or is this type of laser completely different? Will the lightest setting be used? What if the lightest setting does nothing for the stain?

4. Will we be able to see Dr. B in person before the procedure this time?

So, I know that all you faithful readers will not be able to answer my questions... unless you are an expert in PWS or lasers and you are hiding out there. I just needed to put it out there. We are hoping and praying that we are making the right decision. God is in control of ALL OF THIS. I have emailed our nurse this morning with all my questions. Hopefully I'll hear something back by the end of this week...

PWS Update

I guess it's time for a PWS update on Lauren. These pictures were taken a few days ago. This respresents a "dark" day for her birthmark. Like I've said before, just the one side of her face is ususally darker than the other. The picture quality is not great because I was purposefully trying to get pictures of the birthmark, which I rarely do, and trying to get an almost 2 year old (!) to be still is pert near impossible.

See what I mean?

We are scheduled for our next laser treatment in September. We have not seen the fading we had hoped to see from this last treatment. But truly, the shade changes daily. PWS is very tempermental.

And here's my prayer request:

We are pretty set in our decision to enroll Lauren in a clinical trial here (at ACH). This trial uses new technology to "map" the stain and determine the size of the blood vessels affected by using a computer program. It also uses a different laser than the Flash Pump Dye Laser. It uses something called a ScleroPLUS. Basically it just adds a cooling effect before and after the laser is used on the skin to cool it down. It does not leave those little "burn" dots like the Flash Pump. From what I've looked for, on the internet, I've seen really good results with fading from this type of laser treatment for PWS. They have used it on infants before, so it's not like Lauren would be a guinea pig. The study is primarily for the computer imaging program. They just so happen to be using a different laser (that the doctors agreed had an overall better result).

Here's the dilemma... with the clinical trial, a test patch is necessary prior to the actual procedure being performed. Typically they do not use anesthesia for the test patch. So we have to decide whether or not to pay out of pocket (NOT the real issue here) and have her go through the not eating or drinking anything for 6 hours before the test and recovery ORDEAL. Or we can forgo the anesthsia and have them do the test with her awake. I'm not sure how long the test would take, but my guess it that it would be over in a matter of 30 seconds to a one minute. And then we could go home. The problem I have with doing anesthsia is that it becomes an all day thing, and she is NOT a happy camper coming out of it. I think that might almost be worse than the little pop of a laser on her face for a minute.

And it is just nerve-racking trying something different. But we have said since the beginning that we would do everything we could to help the PWS fade before she is old enough to notice it... and those days are quickly approaching.

PWS Update

It's been just over a month since Lauren's 5th laser treatment. I always expect miraculous results... I know I shouldn't do this, but I do. Results for us don't usually appear until at least 2 months later and even then, the fading still gets better in the 3rd month post procedure. But here she is one month later... mind you - it is HARD getting a picture of her being still (unless she's in her booster seat eating, and then it's just food all over her face).

Lauren loves her Nina! (my momma)

She is still a little spotchy, but it will get better with time. Currently she is sporting some redness due to the sun. Is anyone else as paranoid about putting sunscreen on their baby like I am? I sent Aveeno SPF 55 Baby Sunscreen to daycare with her and they are putting it on her face before they go outside in the morning and afternoon. But I still think she is getting some redness where they are missing spots. She is just so fair skinned like me and I don't want her to get sunburned... especially on her face. So tomorrow I am sending a hat with her.

I know... I know... I am that parent. But she's MY baby and I'd rather be safe than sorry.

Update on Lauren

Sorry for the lack of posts... We haven't got the computer set up at the new house yet.

Lauren’s surgery update:
Friday morning we left home at 6:45 am and made it to the hospital in plenty of time to make our 7:30 am check-in time. They called us back... yadda, yadda paperwork, then back out to the lobby. A few minutes later we are called back to "the back" and she get's weighed, measured, and changed into her baby scrubs. We are taken to our room and we wait. Our surgery time was not scheduled until 9:30 am so we had a lot of waiting to do... In between digging in my purse, playing with the cell phone, and tickling sessions we are visited by the anesthesiologist nurse, the child-life worker, our surgeon's nurse, and the nurse that dispenses the Tylenol. However, we NEVER got to talk to our doctor in person. I asked to and they said that her schedule did not allow for it. I find it a little irritating that she was too busy to talk with a parent that requested to see her. That just doesn't scream good bedside manner to me. And yes, I completely understand that our "surgery"/treatment is minor compared to others. But still... it would have taken about 5 minutes, TOPS. Huff.
Sooooooooo... anyway - they called Lauren back right on time at 9:30 am and she SEVERLY protested being removed from Mama's arms. At that moment I totally second guessed their offer to give her the "goofy" juice. Next time we'll request the "goofy" juice.
I think the procedure lasted 10 minutes, max. I'm in the lobby and I get a nod from the guy at the front desk that the phone ringing on the wall is for me. Dang. I was really hoping that I could at least talk to the doctor after the procedure, since I didn’t get to beforehand. I mean, it is me or is a phone call a little … cold? So, doc says that surgery went fine… she did address a couple of concerns that I’d talked to her nurse about… the spacing of the dots… and other things. She gave me an explanation, but it’s not exactly what I was looking for in terms of an answer. Again, huff. These things are beyond my control and I have a hard time with things not being in my control.

But the first step is admitting you have a problem right? Well, I’m on the right track because I know I have this problem.

Okay, so after I hung up with the doctor I am allowed to go back to the recovery area and rescue my screaming banchie/daughter. She is usually REALLY mad in the recovery area. I think she’s a little scared and mad at the same time. But once they finally let us go she is back to her happy self. She passed out in the car on the way home and got a good little cat nap. Bless her heart she was just so worn out.

All in all… the day went well. We go back in 6 months for her next treatment. The doctor did give us some encouraging news though – she said of all the PWS patients she has, Lauren’s PWS is the lightest. So that’s good news, right? Let’s do before and after pictures now:

One day old:2 months old:
7 months old:
14 months old:

19 months old: (day before laser)

Day after treatment.
She looked at herself in the mirror and said, "Ball!"

Treatment Number 5 (updated)

*** UPDATE ***
We are to be at the hospital tomorrow morning (Friday) at 7:30 am. Lauren's surgery time is at 9:30 am. Thanks for praying for her!


I am really trying to not be stressed out. I am learning to just not worry so much about the little things. This is hard, being that I am details kind of person.

• We are packing the furniture onto the moving truck on Thursday.


• We are unloading the furniture into the new house on Friday


• Lauren is undergoing her 5th laser treatment for PWS on Friday.


• Work is busy this week with deadlines.

We have a lot going on. But really, one at a time it isn't all that bad. If I can remember to find the camera I will post some before and after pictures of Lauren's laser treatment. I've got some good before ones, they just aren't onto the computer yet.

Could I ask you a favor? Would you please pray for us? Not only that all goes well moving and such... But also a specific pray for Lauren and me on Friday? Please pray that we will be able to see the doctor before her laser treatment. I don't usually see her at all when we are at the hospital ... just talk to her on the phone in the lobby after it's over. Please pray that she will visit with us in person. I want to talk to her about the progress we are making with the treatments and get her thoughts on future treatments. Also, (and this might not make any sense to you) but pray that the doctor will make the laser spots very close together. It seems to me that Lauren's fading would be much better if the laser "dots" were next to each other instead of spaced out as they have been in the past.


Thanks so much for your prayers!

Today is the BIG day!!!

Today we sign papers to buy our new house!!! Hip, Hip, Hooray!!! I'm just a little excited. But mostly terrified of writing that monster check out to the title company. GULP.

Must.take.deep.breaths....

But I think next Friday I'll be even MORE excited when we get to move in!!! This coming week will be filled with carpet cleaning, house cleaning, re-keying locks, and painting before we actually move in there.

This weekend we will finish up packing the little things we've still got lying around... like pots and pans and the few dishes we didn't pack a few weeks ago. We'll be eating sandwiches on paper plates this coming week. Hopefully I can lose some weight doing that. Ha!
I'm sure I'll pack all the rest of my clothes except a week's worth... that'll be fun. I'll have ZERO to choose from next week. But it will make the move easier!

Also, next Friday, aka "Moving Day" is Lauren's 5th laser treatment for PWS. Lauren and I will be in LR while Trey and helpers are moving. It's sure to be an interesting day!

One Year Later...

It's been about year since Lauren had her first laser treatment. I guess this will be the first of several chapters of our Birthmark Journey with Lauren. I will stick to calling her birthmark a PWS for Port Wine Stain.

Lauren's first laser surgery for her PWS was on January 25th, 2008. It was postponed several times due to her having RSV. Time has really flown by. She has had 4 surgeries total in 2008 and each has gone very well. Our doctor tells us that Lauren has a mild PWS and that her stain is very light in comparison with others she has seen.

Here is Lauren at one day old (top) and 3 weeks old (bottom): You can see she has the PWS on both sides of her face but they are different shapes.

Lauren at 5 months old. Just hours before her first laser surgery. You can see that the PWS is much lighter in this photo even before any procedure had ever been done. We don't really know why it faded that much on it's own or if it would have faded even more without surgery. We do know that the doctors have recommended that we go forward with the laser treatment in order to keep the color light and avoid future complications with the stain.

Most people think that PWS is simply a cosmetic issue. This is simply not true. If left untreated the PWS can get darker and thicker and cause the skin to bulge and blister.

This is Lauren after her first laser treatment. She has always been such a trooper. She is fighting mad coming out of anesthesia, but mostly we think it's because she's got all this stuff hooked up to her and she is HUNGRY. Once we are out of recovery she is back to her happy self.

It does look painful, but we have never had to give her anything for pain. She never even seems to notice that she has these little laser dots on her face.

Here is Lauren today: In these pictures you can still somewhat see the laser dots in certain areas. On one side of her face, where the PWS extends further down her cheek, the stain is darker. It has always been this way. This side is responding more slowly to the treatment. Lauren's complexion is so fair that it takes a long time to see the results from the laser. But we are FINALLY seeing results from it. I am really hoping and praying that by the time she is in pre-school the laser treatments will be only for "maintenance" purposes.

Well that's it. Our next procedure is scheduled for March 20th. We always try to have them on a Friday so that she has a few days at home in case of any swelling. Please pray that our insurance will continue to cover her surgeries. So far they have covered in full, but this last time they "hesitated". They ended up paying for it, but I have to wonder if they will deny it in the future and call it "cosmetic".

But really... with or without the birthmark there is NO denying that is BEAUTIFUL. Don't you agree? :)

Connect the dots?

So I went grocery shopping with Lauren on Friday evening while Trey was ripping out wood flooring. Lauren and I can't stand the sound or smell... so we had to leave when daddy got after it. :)

Keep in mind that Lauren had her laser surgery on Friday, so she's got the laser marks on her pretty face.

I'm in the frozen foods section and a older couple walks by... staring, because everyone stares when we are out and about after laser treatments. So, Lauren's holding my pen for the shopping list, being a big helper... and the old man says, "Is she writing all over her face with that pen?" (with a look of shock on his face)

Here's what I wanted to say, "Yes, because I encourage her to be expressive... so I marked her face with dots and then told her to connect them. SERIOUSLY?"

Here's what I actually said, while smiling, "No, she had laser surgery today for a birthmark on her face and those are the dots from the laser."

GRRR... sometimes I really just want to stop being nice about this and say what I really think. And I REALLY want to start staring at the folks that stare at her. I mean, what is wrong with people? I know we draw attention to ourselves when we go out in public after having this done, but I REFUSE to hide out in our house because the rest of the world doesn't know how to act.

I mean, what happened to the rule of "Don't stare, it isn't nice." ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

I guess I'm the only one who's mama raised me right.



I'm off my soapbox now. Thank you.

This week was a blur...

This week went by so fast. It's hard to believe that Thanksgiving was just over a week ago, but it seems longer than that. WHEW! I don't think I took a deep breath all week. I'm glad it's over, and I'm glad I didn't have to work today! Woohoo!!!

Lauren's 4th laser treatment for the PWS (Port Wine Stain) birthmarks was first thing this morning. It was the earliest and fastest appointment we have ever had! She did great! She is such a little trooper when it comes to this. The Dr. said that since the fading is going really well, she won't have to have another treatment for 6 months instead of every 3 months like we have been doing. I have mixed feelings about it. On the one hand I'm glad... I hate handing her to a nurse knowing that she will be put to sleep and wake up mad and with red dots all over her sweet face. On the other hand, I wonder if we should keep doing the treatments every 3 months since it is going this well. But I guess the Dr. knows best.

I'm ready for Christmas. Mostly because I'm ready to relax. I'm not entirely prepared for Christmas to be here, but I'm hoping to be fully prepared by the end of the weekend. I only have a few more gifts to get. Yea!

I'm not sure if we will get to put up a Christmas tree this year. Because, well, we don't have one anymore. I threw out the old Christmas tree last year because it had become a Charlie Brown tree. It was so sad looking. And then I didn't buy a new one. And now it's Dec. 5th... and all the decor is still in the attic. And there is no furniture in the living room (because we are in the middle of tearing out the hardwood to put down carpet). So, I have no place to put a tree. AND we don't even stay in town for Christmas. AND Lauren will never remember that at her second Christmas there was no tree at her house. Does it sound like I'm trying to justify this? Well, I am. Because really... Christmas is not about a tree or presents. It's about CHRIST and His birth and so right now I am not really bothered about not having a tree. I am not anti-tree, next year we will have one. But this year... well I just don't see it happening.

SO - here's a picture from last year...

"Chestnuts roasting on an open fire..." Oh wait... that's a closed gas fireplace. Oh well.

Incidentally... do you see that wood floor in the picture? Yes, THAT is what we are replacing. Call me crazy if you want to, but I like CARPET in my living room. It's warmer, softer, and more cozy feeling. Less formal. And we are casual people. (No worries, we are leaving it in the office and dining room.)

How rude...

So, I just have to vent about what happened at WalMart the other day. Actually it happened a while ago, but it still makes me mad. So... yes, Lauren has a birthmark on both sides of her face. No one has ever said anything to me in public before. But I was standing at the checkout and the checker looked at her and then looked at me and said, "Does she have a rash on her face?" I said, "No, she has a birthmark." And then she says, "Wow, so what were you craving when you were pregnant?"

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I could not believe the AUDACITY of this woman. I just politely said, "Nothing." But after I walked away it hit me and I just wanted to rip her a new one. I mean - it was like she was implying that perhaps this was my fault that my daughter has this birthmark. Yes, I did it to her and I did it on purpose. WHAT THE HECK????

I was so upset by the time I got home. She has no idea the agony I went through thinking that exact thing... did I do something wrong? What did I do to cause this to happen?

UGH... It still makes me mad to think about it.

However, it does not matter what that horrible woman thinks about Lauren. She is perfect and healthy and beautiful with her birthmark. Are we taking steps to help it fade? Of course, but not because we want her to be worried about it, but only to help it not to get darker and so she might not have to endure harsh bullies when gets older.

I love her more than words can express. And I would do anything for her. But above all I want her to know that she is loved and to feel that she is loved. And I want her to know that God made her perfect in His sight.

How could anyone think she is nothing less than perfect and beautiful????

On an unrelated note: Work is different now that I am a supervisor. It's hard... no one told me it would be this difficult to manage people. But it's a great learning experience... that's what I hear anyway. :)