One Proud Mama

Lauren did so great this morning.  I feel so bad for her having to endure the 10 laser pops to her face without anesthsia, but really I don't think she felt but one or two of them.  She said ouch once or twice.  And that was during the Pulse Dye Laser.  She never even felt the pops from the Altus laser.  The worst part was the nurses having to wrap her up like a burrito and hold her down on the table to keep her from moving.  It was essential that she lay still.  VERY hard for a two year old.  She was scared and crying.  She kept looking at me saying, "Mama, I'un hold you!"  And I couldn't. 

That made me feel like dirt.

I think Trey is right.  There might have been too many people standing around her.  There were four, including me. And she just didn't have any idea what to think.  She didn't understand a bit of what was going on.  I wouldn't know what to think either if I were all wrapped up, unable to move and some stranger was holding my face still while another one pointed a laser device at my face. 

The best news is that we will NEVER have to endure that again.  All other procedures she will be put to sleep for and she won't have to be held down like a calf being branded.  Seriously, that's what I equate it with.

Honestly, I think our surgeon was getting a bit flustered with the PhD that was manning the thermal imaging camera.  Our surgeon (Dr. B) is usually so quick she was having to wait on him to record the skin temperature changes and the PhD was having to reset the camera (or something) that was causing everyone to wait.  And that meant that Lauren was required to lay there longer, confused and screaming.

I'm not sure how I managed to hold it together.  I didn't have a choice really.  Lauren was looking at me and I had to be calm and collected in order for her not to be any worse than she was.  We were all wearing protective, colored safetly glasses due to the laser so she couldn't see my eyes completely and I'm sure that didn't help.  Also she had to have her eyes covered from the laser and so one of the nurses would put a long thick strip of gauze over her eyes just before the laser was applied which made her scream even worse.  Those moments were the hardest.  I nearly lost it one time, but we made it through.

Not two seconds after it was all over and she was safe in Daddy's arms she was all smiles at the nurses.

She amazes me, this one.  Simply amazes me.  I could not be more proud of her right now.