I'm a white girl. No, I mean like a REALLY white-legged, casper-like, palest pale you've ever seen WHITE GIRL. I'm 30 years old and I can count on one hand the number of times I've been tan. If you could even call it tan, because I'm sure I was the only one who thought I had a tan. I can probably count on two hands the number of times I've been burnt to a crisp.
I've been to tanning beds... done the mystic tan... tried just about EVERY tan-in-a-can that's on the market and still I'm not tan. Burned from the beds? Yes. Orange from the spray tan? Yes. Looking dirty from the tan-in-a-can? Yes.
Why does tan have to be so popular? Why can't pale be popular too? I realize that will never be the case, but a girl, a very pale girl, can dream, right?
Anyway, for the sake of never of giving up and always being optimistic I decided to try one last self-tanner. I found it online... it had all the great reviews (most of them do... LIARS!) So I ordered it. It arrived yesterday and I did all the exfoliating and all that stuff you're supposed to do to help it not streak and whatnot.
It's a good thing I only put it on my legs because the Oompa Loompa-like orange that are my feet and knees is undeniable. Even for me, the eternal optimist. Let's just say it looks like I walked through some wet clay and I forgot to shower afterwards. The rest of my legs look "ok"... not quite the shade I was hoping for, but they aren't orange. The best thing about this tanner was that it didn't smell at all. Every other self tanner I have used stinks to high heaven, but this one didn't... weird. And my legs don't look streaky at all, which is good.
I did take some before and after pictures, but the lighting wasn't that good and who wants to look at "dirty" feet and jiggly legs?
So, I think this might just end my quest at tanning. I still might try out a tanning bed that promises no burning (UltraBronze), but I'll have to really think about it some more. I have a small fear of tanning beds. It's call SKIN CANCER.
For now I guess this Oompa Loompa will just fade back to "White-y" White (as Trey likes to call me) and try to get that Oompa Loompa doompadee doo song out of my head.
3 comments:
Actually, in the Victorian era you would have been quite in style. And it shocks me that tanning salons are still in business, knowing that they cause skin cancer. Pale skin really should be in style.
I wanted to comment on the Jennifer Knapp thing too. I think what upsets me most is that she is a Christian and seems to be saying "this is me, deal with it". You just can't pretend parts of the bible don't exist. I don't think that you're intolerant, and I don't think we should support her financially by buying her album.
First of all, I love the new blog layout!
Secondly, I am right there with you on the Whitey syndrome. My skin is naturally pale but it will tan (eventually). I spent a lot of time and energy (and MONEY!) on being tan in my late teens and early 20's. Now, of course, I regret it as I can already see the sun damage on my skin.
Rock the pale skin, girlie!
Believe me, I feel your pain! But I am curious, what is the name of the odorless tanner. I quit using them because the smell makes me sick...and it is nearly impossible to get rid of.
I am not totally there yet, but I have been on a long path to accepting my white-ness. Usually just thinking about cancer will get me a few steps closer to acceptance.
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